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The Truth About Sex

Sex is not love, but sometimes they can feel like the same thing. REAL love is about commitment; a relationship that values you as a total person: heart, mind, dreams, emotions, not just body parts!

Be aware of the message the media gives you about sex. Is it true? Movies, music and magazines tell us that sex is just a physical act, it's no big deal, it's without consequences and it's just part of dating.

The truth is that sex is more than just physical. Sex involves all of a person - their mental, emotional, social, spiritual AND physical parts. When someone gives themselves sexually to another, they are giving a part of who they are, which includes all the components. The reality - sex is a very big deal; it's the most intimate act two people can share with one another.

The main negative consequences of sex are obvious:

  • pregnancy
  • sexually transmitted infections
  • broken hearts

These are serious and sometimes life-long consequences! Just because you are in a dating relationship does NOT mean that you need to be having sex. In fact, if you really care about your boyfriend or girlfriend you will want the best for them. Is putting them at risk of getting a disease or giving up their dream of going to college to take care of a baby, the best for them? True love is patient and willing to wait, wanting the best for each other.

It's a good idea to have a plan of action. Set boundaries for yourself. Determine where you will draw the line and stop there. Communicate your boundary to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Help yourself stay committed to that boundary, by planning creative dates. Doing something fun will help you not be tempted to cross your boundary. Avoid tempting situations like being alone late at night with your date.

If you have already had sex, it is never too late to stop. Renew your virginity by making the commitment to wait to have sex again within your marriage. Remove yourself from the risks! Remember, saving sex for marriage is the best decision you can make for your physical and emotional health. You are worth it! You can do it!

Dating

Are you going to marry the person you date in high school? Probably not. So why is there so much pressure to date and be somebody’s “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”? 

Dating should be about figuring out what you need in a future spouse. While dating, it is important to think about where you want your physical boundaries to be.

101 Ideas for Creative Dates

  1. Drive –in movie (with a group) in a pickup truck– take lawn chairs 
  2. Matinee movies 
  3. Movie Theme Night (Disney/ Bourne Identity movies) 
  4. IMAX 
  5. Rent movies 
  6. Go to a dinner theater 
  7. Video scavenger hunt 
  8. Picnic at the park – feed the ducks 
  9. Hot dog and marshmallow roast at the park 
  10. Kidnap your date for a surprise breakfast (Make sure you return them!) 
  11. Laser tag 
  12. Volleyball with friends or join a co-ed team at the YMCA 
  13. Play tennis or badminton 
  14. Play racquetball 
  15. Roller blade together 
  16. Go to a sports event (college, high school)- better if a friend is on the team 
  17. Go to a professional sporting event (Go Broncos!) 
  18. Ride go-carts 
  19. Miniature golf 
  20. Play billiards/pool 
  21. Play Fugitive/Manhunt/Capture the Flag/Jail Break 
  22. Bowling (try it blindfolded for a fun twist) 
  23. Frisbee golf 
  24. Play hide and seek/sardines 
  25. Enter a “fun run” together (Bolder Boulder, Erie Erie, etc.) 
  26. Paintball 
  27. Canoe together 
  28. Bike ride, rent a tandem bike, or rent mopeds or dirt bikes 
  29. Water ski 
  30. Go Fishing 
  31. Tubing in the river 
  32. Horseback riding 
  33. Fly kites 
  34. Plant flowers/garden 
  35. Build sandcastles at beach 
  36. Watch a sunrise or a sunset 
  37. Go 4-wheeling 
  38. Go for a hike 
  39. Backpack or camp out with family or friends 
  40. Window shop at the mall 
  41. Scavenger hunt at the mall (group date) 
  42. Go thrift store shopping 
  43. Buy a gift for each other at the mall 
  44. Go in the pet store and play with the animals 
  45. Trick-or-Treat on April Fools Day 
  46. Go to the rodeo 
  47. Play video games/arcade/TV games/computer games 
  48. Read together (Calvin and Hobbes, comic book, etc.) 
  49. Garage sales – look for unusual stuff to give to a friend 
  50. Concerts (local, favorite band, free, etc.) 
  51. Do volunteer work together 
  52. Go to a parade 
  53. Make music (sing, play instruments, record yourself) 
  54. Learn about something unusual together (take classes like glass blowing, archery, painting, etc.) 
  55. Make gifts for each other 
  56. Work on a hobby together 
  57. Visit a ghost town 
  58. Paint something 
  59. Build something 
  60. Do a good deed for an elderly person (shovel snow, rake leaves, mow lawn) 
  61. Read gossip magazines and eat ice-cream 
  62. Tell jokes and laugh together!! 
  63. Go to church together – youth activities 
  64. Play games that encourage talk (Scattegories, Taboo, Scrabble, other board games) 
  65. Look through old photo albums 
  66. Look at old yearbooks and read stuff written in them 
  67. Go to a paint your own pottery place 
  68. Fly on a date – sky dive – parachuting (with parental permission, of course) 
  69. Go to a playground and swing on the swings 
  70. Take pictures of yourself around town 
  71. Sleigh rides and dinner (check at the Memorial building) 
  72. Go dancing 
  73. Wash and wax the car 
  74. Work on car 
  75. Car shopping (with parental permission) or car show 
  76. Progressive dinner 
  77. Restaurant hopping – eat each part of a four-course meal at four different restaurants 
  78. Cook a dinner together 
  79. Eat a special meal somewhere “special” 
  80. Bake cookies together and send some to a friend at college or in the service 
  81. Murder mystery dinner party 
  82. Make homemade ice cream 
  83. Tailgate party 
  84. Go tubing or sledding 
  85. Snow sports (ice blocking, snow mobile, ice skating, cross-country ski, etc.) 
  86. Ski areas – walk around, shop, watch people 
  87. Have a snowball fight 
  88. Build an igloo or a snowman 
  89. Write a movie script and film it 
  90. Go to a coffee house 
  91. Area attractions (Estes Park, Boulder) 
  92. Go to an amusement park (Six Flags Elitch Gardens or Lakeside) 
  93. Water park (Water World) 
  94. Go to the zoo 
  95. Visit a museum 
  96. Go to an activity center (Boondocks/Gateway) 
  97. Enjoy the mountains 
  98. Ride the train (at Georgetown) 
  99. Bike or walk at an outdoor area/green belt (Golden Ponds) 
  100. Go through a corn maze 
  101. Watch a play at the Theater Company (Longmont) 

Other Ideas:

  • Do a lot of “group dates” – a lot of fun; less threatening; more interaction; accountability 
  • Check places for what’s going on: Local newspaper; Memorial Building; YMCA, etc. Many dates go sour because no one took time to plan. Ask your date his or her preferences in advance. 
  • Make sure you budget for your date. Or be creative and see how much you can do without spending tons of money.
  • Combine some of the above ideas. The more creative you are, and the more you use variety, the more fun you’ll have and the better you’ll get to know other people. 
  • Communicate your plans to all parents involved. They can be a great back-up system if anything goes wrong. 

Teen Mom

Is it all that it's cracked up to be?

“We only did it once,”. . . .  “We used a condom,” . . . . “He told me he loved me,”  . . . 

“I thought this could never happen to me.” 

Most teen girls don’t consider how a few intimate minutes with their boyfriend can greatly affect the rest of their life. In 2009 in the United States, a total of 409,840 infants were born to 15−19 year olds! (1) Most girls don’t consider how they are not having just a baby, but a person who will one day be 5, 10, 20 years old. What would it be like to have a 10 year old child when you are 25? 

While in the moment, sex may seem like a really great idea, consider what you want your life to look like and if a few minutes is worth it.

(References: Center for Disease Control & Prevention)

 

Pregnancy Myths and Truths

   How much do you really know about sex and pregnancy? Most of us learn about sex from a sibling,          friend or neighbor. What we learn is not always accurate. Let’s take a look at a few of the myths out          there, concerning how to avoid pregnancy. 

 

The Mountain Dew Myth.  Have your boyfriend down a 2-liter of Mountain Dew before sex and it will lower his sperm count thereby preventing pregnancy. 

TRUTH: The ingredients in Mountain Dew — or other sodas — do not affect a male’s sperm count. So “Doing the Dew” does not prevent pregnancy.

Sex in Water Myth: You can’t get pregnant if you have sex in water. 

TRUTH: Pregnancy can occur in water. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a lake, a pool or a hot tub. 

Jump Up and Down after Sex Myth: If you jump up and down after sex it confuses the sperm and they fall out of the vagina.

TRUTH: Jumping up and down does not confuse sperm and they definitely don’t fall out. Even if you jump on a trampoline it won’t prevent pregnancy. And tell your older siblings they need to get their facts straight.

The Smartphone App Myth: As long as your app says you’re not ovulating you can’t get pregnant.

TRUTH: There are many different apps out there that can track a woman’s period and tell you when you are fertile. Your smart phone is smart but not always correct. It does not know your body and therefore cannot always accurately predict when you are fertile or not. It won’t prevent pregnancy.

The Pull Out Myth: As long as your boyfriend pulls out before he ejaculates there is no chance of getting pregnant. Also known as withdrawal. 

TRUTH: Two things to keep in mind: 1.There are always fluids being released even before ejaculation takes place. 2. This takes a lot of self-control that most people do not have in the heat of the moment. Have you heard the true story about the family of five who were all conceived from using the Pull Out Method?

The Gravity Myth: In the movie Knocked Up, the main character says if a girl is on top during sex she can’t get pregnant because of gravity. 

TRUTH: Don’t believe everything Hollywood says.  Sperm can swim upwards!

The Alcohol Myth: Alcohol kills sperm; therefore you can’t get pregnant.

TRUTH: Neither drinking nor taking drugs will prevent pregnancy. Taking alcohol or drugs lowers your inhibitions and ability to make good decisions when it comes to sex. Something to think about; besides not preventing pregnancy, drinking or drugs could cause you to end up regretting your sexual experience.  

The First Time Myth: You can’t get pregnant your first time having sex. 

TRUTH: If you are ovulating it doesn’t matter whether it’s your first time or your 101st time having sex you can get pregnant. The only way to avoid pregnancy is to avoid having sex.

The Douche Myth: You can’t get pregnant if you douche after sex.

TRUTH:  Douching does not prevent pregnancy.

You Can’t Get Pregnant During Your Period Myth. 

TRUTH: Your chances are slim, but you can still get pregnant.

WARNING: Typing “how to avoid pregnancy” into a search engine does not prevent pregnancy because a large portion of what you may read will be similar to the false facts you read above. 

The only 100% way to avoid becoming pregnant is to abstain from having sex. 

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