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Having the Best Sex

Any idea who has the best, most rockin’ sex ever? Married people!

couple

In 2010, the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University confirmed that married people have more sex than single people.* Probably not what you would have guessed, but if you think about it, it makes perfect sense! Sex is a very intimate act that takes a lot of trust and respect to be satisfying. Nothing will ever feel as safe as being in a loving, committed relationship like marriage where you know that person isn’t going anywhere. They love everything about you, not just what you can offer them physically. 

“Nothing helped build trust in our marriage more than waiting to have sex until our wedding night. I know through experience that we can both control ourselves and truly have each other’s best interest in mind. Nothing can compare to knowing she is my only and I am her only,” Andrew, 24 years old, on his first year anniversary. 

Waiting until marriage also leads to the best sex because it gives you time to choose the best partner for you. Often people make their relationship all about the physical aspect rather than focusing on beliefs, values and friendship. Not having sex is the best test to figuring out if you can really build a life together as partners, in every aspect.

 

Sex Q&A

Do you know all there is to know about sex? Maybe you do or maybe you still have a few questions about sex. If after reading the information below you think of a question send  an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with your question and we’ll get back to you. 

Q: What is contraception?

A: Contraception is meant to prevent pregnancy— a barrier to pregnancy so to speak. Condoms and birth control pills are just a couple of forms of contraception. 

Q: I’m sexually active. How often should I get tested for STD’s?

A: Your greatest risk for being infected with an STD comes from multiple sexual partners or risky sexual practices like oral or anal sex. If you are sexually active it is a good idea to get tested when you have a new partner, during a check-up at your doctor’s office, or if you begin to show signs or symptoms. Keep in mind that many STDs do not have  symptoms or if they do, the symptoms  are mild and can be mistaken for other infections. Remember the only way to not get an STD is to abstain from having sex.

Q: How long can sperm live?

A: It depends on the conditions as to how long sperm can survive once leaving the males’ body. In a woman’s vagina sperm can survive three to five days. Outside of the body sperm can survive a few hours. 

Q: I was told to be extra safe I need to use two condoms. Are two condoms really better than one?

A: No, in this case two is NOT better than one. Using two condoms (also referred to as “Double Bagging”) increases the friction which means the condoms are more likely to rip or tear.

Q: Do I have to tell my boyfriend that I’m pregnant?

A: The law does not require that you tell anyone (regardless of your age) that you are pregnant including your boyfriend.  Having that conversation with your boyfriend may be difficult but the law does provide protection from being coerced into a decision about what to do with your pregnancy.  

Q: What does the birth control pill protect against?

A: The birth control pill protects against pregnancy. It will not protect against Sexually Transmitted Infections.

Q: Can you get pregnant your first time having sex?

A: Yes, pregnancy can occur during a female’s first sexual intercourse. Once a female has begun menstruating it does not matter whether it’s her first time or her 101st time having sex.

Q: If a guy ejaculates near my genitals but not inside me can I get pregnant? 

A: In theory the answer is yes. Anytime sperm gets anywhere near a woman’s vagina she can become pregnant although it is less likely to happen without penetration. Pregnancy is less likely to occur under these circumstances but it is possible.

Q: If the girl doesn't have an orgasm can she still get pregnant? 

A: Yes, a female’s orgasm is not a necessary part of becoming pregnant and there is enough sperm in the pre-ejaculatory fluid of males to cause a pregnancy.

Q: Can I get pregnant from giving or receiving oral sex? 

A: No you can’t get pregnant from giving or receiving oral sex but you can get Sexually Transmitted Infections. 

Q: Is it possible to stay STI free? 

A: Yes. By not having sex until marriage you can guarantee that you won't have to deal with an STI. If two people get married and have never been exposed to anyone who might have an STI there is no way they can get one. 

Q: Is it possible to wait until marriage? 

A: Yes. More and more teens are making the choice to stay healthy not only physically, but emotionally and mentally, too. 

 

Sexual Choices

You have the freedom to choose.

If you choose to have sex outside of marriage, here are some of the potential consequences:

  • unwanted pregnancy
  • sexually transmitted infections
  • broken heart
  • depression
  • low self-esteem
  • rejection
  • fear
  • regret
  • guilt
  • goals too difficult to reach
  • damaged reputation...

Do any of these sound like fun?

If you choose to save sex for the person who commits on your wedding day to love and cherish you for the rest of your life, here are some of the potential consequences:

  • greater self-respect (self-worth)
  • accomplishment of goals
  • increased self-control (self-empowerment)
  • emotional health and well-being
  • a relationship built on love and commitment, without fear
  • the best sex!

Which of these two options sounds like freedom to you?

Some more things to consider before you make your decision:

More than half of teens are not sexually active. The media makes it seem like EVERYONE is doing it. That's not true. More and more teenagers are choosing to wait to have sex because they have goals for their life that they want to accomplish. Currently, 750,000 teens in our country become pregnant every year. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy states that 16% of all teen girls will have a baby by the age of 20.

You have the control over whether that happens to you or not! Look at the facts not the sales pitch. Sex outside of marriage provides too many risks.

(References: National Vital Statistics Report 2008)

STIs/STDs

So what’s the big deal with STIs?

Well for starters, 1 in 4 sexually active teens has an STI as reported by the Centers for Disease Control.  Stop and think; 1 in 4. Is that someone you know? Maybe they don’t even know they’ve got an STI. You can’t always tell.  

Some STI’s can make you sick today and others can cause problems later in life. Problems like cancer, infertility, or death.  Not exactly harmless or fun!

If you haven’t had sex your chances of getting an STI are small. If you’ve already had sex, get checked for STIs.  

How do you avoid getting an STI? Plain and simple, abstinence from sexual activity is the best bet for avoiding STIs.

Sexually Transmitted Infections

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) are infections spread through sexual activity. Sexual activity refers to mutual masturbation, oral, anal or vaginal sex. STIs can spread rapidly due to the fact that most individuals with STIs have minimal symptoms or no symptoms at all; therefore they do not realize they are contagious or possibly infecting others. STIs can lead to physical damage being done to the body, especially when left untreated. 

Before you have sex take plenty of time to consider all the risks. Think about what’s best for your life and your future. Consider what’s best for you. It is your life at stake. 

All information on this website regarding STIs is from the Center for Disease Control — the leading experts on STIs. To see the affects of STIs on the body, or for more information check out the CDC website at www.cdc.org

Chlamydia

  • People get Chlamydia by having sex with someone who has the infection. “Having sex” means anal, vaginal, or oral sex.
  • Most infected people have no symptoms. Some infected men and women have a burning sensation when urinating. 
  • Chlamydia can impact a woman’s ability to have children if left untreated.
  • Tests to diagnose Chlamydia: Urine sample for men and cervical swab for women. 
  • Chlamydia is treated with antibiotics. 

Gonorrhea

  • People get gonorrhea by having sex with someone who has the disease. “Having sex” means anal, vaginal, or oral sex.
  • Most infected people have no symptoms. Some infected men and women have a burning sensation when urinating. 
  • Gonorrhea can impact a woman’s ability to have children if left untreated.
  • Gonorrhea can be diagnosed by a urine sample for men and cervical swab for women.
  • Gonorrhea is treated with injected antibiotics. *Drug-resistant strains of gonorrhea are increasing, and successful treatment of gonorrhea is becoming more difficult. 

Syphilis

  • Syphilis is transmitted from person to person by direct contact with syphilis sores. Sores occur mainly on the external genitals, vagina, anus, or in the rectum.
  • Signs and symptoms of syphilis in the primary stage include a firm, round, and painless sore on the genitals, anus, or mouth; the secondary stage is marked by a rash on the body; the late and latent stages can include difficulty coordinating muscle movements, paralysis, numbness, gradual blindness, and dementia.
  • A blood test is the most common way to determine if someone has syphilis.
  • Syphilis is treated with antibiotics. 

Trichomoniasis

  • Trichomoniasis is caused by a parasite. The parasite is passed from an infected person to an uninfected person during sex. 
  • About 70% of infected people do not have any signs or symptoms. Men may feel itching or irritation inside the penis, women may notice itching, burning or soreness of the genitals. 
  • Without treatment, trichomoniasis can increase a person’s risk of acquiring HIV.
  • Trichomoniasis is diagnosed with a doctor’s exam and laboratory test. 
  • Trichomoniasis is treated with antibiotics. 

HPV

  • Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection. There are more than 40 types of HPV that can infect the genital area. These types can also infect the mouth and throat.
  • HPV is passed through genital contact, most often during vaginal and anal sex. HPV may also be passed on during oral sex and genital-to-genital contact.
  • Potential health problems include genital warts and cervical cancer. Genital warts usually appear as a small bump or group of bumps in the genital area. Cervical cancer usually does not cause symptoms until it is quite advanced.
  • There is no general HPV test for men or women. A PAP smear test is available to help screen women for cervical cancer. 
  • There is no treatment for the virus itself, but there are treatments for the health problems that HPV can cause. 

Herpes

  • People get herpes by having sex with someone who has the disease. “Having sex” means anal, vaginal, or oral sex.
  • You can get genital herpes even if your partner shows no signs of the infection.
  • Most individuals infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2 experience either no symptoms or have very mild symptoms. When symptoms do occur, they typically appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals, rectum or mouth.
  • Herpes is diagnosed by visual inspection. Doctors can also take a sample from the sore and test it. 
  • There is no treatment that can cure herpes. Antiviral medications can, however, prevent or shorten outbreaks during the period of time the person takes the medication. 

HIV/AIDS

  • People get HIV by having sex with someone who has the infection. “Having sex” means anal, vaginal, or oral sex.
  • HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is the virus that leads to AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome). 
  • Initially, patients suffer from generic flu-like symptoms. 
  • HIV is diagnosed with a blood test. 
  • Treatment? There is no cure at this time; however scientists continue to work on finding a cure. With the proper treatment and medication HIV can be controlled.

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